Goodnight, mm-mm

 

What do you know about this stream of consciousness?

About love?

What do you know about

my love?

What do you know about pain;

My pain, the firsts, forgettables

the man who has scarred me deeply?

 

What do you know about

how much I need and

how much I can let go?

What do you know about my capacity for joyousness

All this joyousness abundant

and the ugly terrible

dumb stupid scary

All of that which lives inside?

A fingernail to scratch the surface 

You dare not —yet

Yet what time pray

tell what second lives

underneath your skin?

If you have space for joy you cannot incapacitate yourself

to the pain that comes bundled with it. You cannot choose to only be here when it is good. But I know the moments come

where parallels clash and you cannot enter nor

let me in so I try not to take heed, I simply tell myself I must simply feel it deeply, feel it deeply

 —and then I get up and walk

But why am I walking alone?

What do I know about what it is that you

are unable to see that is reflected in

what you are unable to give?

What do I know about

what it is that you can only see

Two eyes, four, up down, smack me in the face

With the largeness of me in your mirror

A reflection

that is rooted in all

projection of your fears?

What do you know about the jokes that draw out my giggles; if we weren’t to speak two years from now  would you still remember? Would you still remember me, happy?

If words could leave my open mouth they would

Engulf envelope They would have engorged themselves upon me by now

Feasted on a body of water so thick osmosis stood no chance

Music so sweet I can see two years from now, living

Moment so still I can hear forever in it, waiting

Movement in treetop, isolated

Soundwave fuzzy it's shaped like I Love You

See me when I cry, and I will cry deep

and the birds will twitter, 

skittish, in this stream I wander

Waved downwards gently, still

And I will carry

And you will watch me, silent

You will watch me

Float