Behind
Walk behind
I have no poems to write
Affection platonic not platonic different
Images of what knowledge was thought to be
We Love with a love alone not with each other but
I was with you the whole time
The whole time I was with you
And you resent
And you hurt
And you have bigger burdens to net
Hole fish fry dunk on
everyone downstairs Jalan Rotan
No more emergency Js. Stop.
Want me because of my face?
Because I am shy sweet noiseless layers want to unpeel but you
Don’t know what is I
what you don’t know is that I do not
Unpeel Stop. I am Instead an egg
which once cracks simply
Flows and flows untethered runny rapid river
Full both hands Won’t be able to
stop me not even then, even if
you wanted to
Even if you wanted to
I would tell you this but your face is gone
Normal for sake of normalcy You will
extend care but you are not
indiscriminate
And I am grieving closeness and a bond
Cornerstone or
Foundational rock of family capital F, no one’s fault I
Thought I was starting to build
Safe space I could be myself dunk on everyone What was all that?
No one’s fault just I just I just I just
I am used to being objectified
I am not used to being loved
No one’s fault not yours You said
Everything right Thank you for
Repair initiation You’re welcome for
Not being avoidant this time around
Because love compelled me more than fear
This time around
Living not leaving things
unsaid This time backwards
this time backwards
Buffer wall Look me in eyes but face is different
You are not indiscriminate, you know how to hate
No one’s fault
Walk behind
